Sunday, January 15, 2012

Goodbye Little Light...


A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam
And for a brief moment its glory
and beauty belong to our world
But then it flies again
And though we wish it could have stayed...
We feel lucky to have seen it.

(Graphic Courtesy of Kristina Wyatt http://www.ebawareness.com/)

It is amazing how so few words can speak what is in one's heart.  This weekend I spent a great deal of time reflecting and trying to understand the waves of emotions I was experiencing. I was sad, confused, angry, you name it.  Despite knowing that it was coming, I was really unprepared for how this would affect me.  I just never realized how it would hit me when Tripp would have to go.  I have to admit, I feel a bit selfish.  Even though I know he is at peace, a peace I prayed for, I cannot help but wish he could have stayed.  I know that I will always feel his presence, for he has touched my heart in countless ways.  However, that really does not make goodbye any easier.
I wish I could have told him the many ways he made my life better, how his light came into my life and lit the path for me.  I wish I would have been able to share with him the ways that his courage and strength inspired me and so many others; to share with him all of the ways that he has changed this world, how amazing he and his impact truly were. I kept thinking of the last time I got to say goodbye and how I promised him that I would never give up.  I pray so hard that he heard me, that he understood and that he knew I would keep that promise.  I remember kissing his forehead knowing deep down inside it would probably be the last time.
Still I was not prepared for this...how can you be? I know however that eventually, time will heal and people will continue on with their lives, candle vigils will cease and posts will start to dwindle.  Things will go back to "normal" for the rest of the world and yet Courtney's world will remain upside down as she tries to navigate life without Tripp.  I cannot begin to imagine what that must feel like and it makes my heart hurt for her in so many ways. So often we focus on the dying and forget about the living.  Tripp's suffering has ended and he is finally has much deserved peace, Courtney's pain is just begininng and she needs our support as much now as she did before.  She has been so generous in allowing us to be a part of Tripp's journey, I hope that we can continue to be generous in our prayers and support helping her as she finds her way to a new normal.  This period of transition will not be easy no matter how strong she is...she has dedicated her entire life to Tripp.  She devoted every moment to his care and now that is gone and she is left feeling lost not knowing what to do.  Tripp is safe now; it is his mommy who needs us. So please pray for her as you have prayed for Tripp.  Help her to see Tripp's spirit each day so that her path can be lit with his light.

Tripp, once again, I thank you for shining your light for all of us and for making the world a better place.  Courtney I am blessed with your friendship and I love you dearly.  Thank you for courageously sharing Tripp with all of us and allowing us to love him and be graced with his spirit.



Donations may be made in Tripp's name to debra.org, or puckfund.org

 

8 comments:

  1. That was absolutely beautiful. I did not have a chance to meet trip, and have yet to meet Courtney either. But even without meeting them, I feel the same way. Their story has touched me profoundly and made me so much more than I was. My prayers and love will always be with Tripp and Courtney. If there is ever anything I can do, I would be more than happy.
    Thank you for your blog as well. Your words are beautifully put and obviously sincere. Thank you all again. In love and prayers. Jeremy

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  2. Christie,
    As always your blog update touches deeply. You are such a caring and incredible person. And so right. As we grieve Tripp, we have to remember keep on supporting Courtney and continue the battle against EB, so that Tripp and others have not suffered for nothing. Even though I live in Finland and never was privileged enough to meet the sweet-sweet Tripp, my way of living and thinking has changed. I have two children of my own (3 years and 1 year) and I have realized that you can’t take them and their health as granted. Although I have never cried so much, I know that Tripp is now flying without pain. I will never forget this little man and we also have to continue supporting his amazing mommy and special lady, Courtney and continue the battle.

    Love,

    Lotta Oljemark

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  3. Christie,

    Thank you for sharing with me Christie; what you do for others is comforting and beautiful. I know Courtney will Love this special Little Light Goodbye for Tripp. I pray you and Courtney are blessed and circled in the Love of God. You have directed so many people before the throne of God. Tripp had a purpose; A Little Light that will shine on forever. He will be part of that and you helped it to happen for Courtney. He is such a sweet baby and I thank you for sharing Tripp with the world. My heart is broken to say goodbye to Tripp but I know he is in his Heavenly Father's Arms, and he is at peace. Blessings to you and your family for spending your life blessing others. My heart is breaking for Courtney and Tripp. I hope you are circled in God's Love for the blessings you bring to others. Thank you Christie, For All You Do.

    Love Debbie

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  4. These words are so beautiful. I love the picture of you and Tripp.

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  5. Lovely words! Tripp will never be forgotten <3 He touched my life in so many ways eventough I have never met him. He have made me a better mother and he is an inspiration to everyone. I will keep praying for Courtney, she is an amazing person and a hero.

    Tripps light will shine forever I'm sure. My 1 year old daughter watched a video of Tripp playing the drums today, and she started to play along with him BEAUTYFUL!

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  6. I thank God for giving this family remarkable strength...as a Mother, I cannot imagine feeling what this Mother & her family felt and is feeling. I am also thankful that this precious angel has his wings and is no longer suffering. This is truly inspiration to me to continue my fight w/ cancer & the strength of this little soldier gives me strength. May God continue to bless this family...Give them peace, strength and healing. Much love from Atlanta to you all. ♥

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  7. God has continued to put it on my heart to pray for Courtney this past week. I cannot begin to fathom the depths of her grief and pray that God will hold her in His arms, as she did for Tripp. I'm so happy for Tripp that he is at peace in Heaven with Jesus, but my heart aches for Courtney and how empty her arms and heart must feel. I will continue to pray for her and also do whatever I can for EB awareness. Trusting in God's timing and will is so hard right now, with how much she must be suffering. Thank you for this beautiful post and the reminder of how much support she needs.

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  8. God brought Tripp into this world to Courtney. She shared her blessing with all of us. She didn't have to but she did and because she shared that beautiful light, so many lives have been changed. Even knowing Tripp's time on this Earth was growing short and that his peace would be had, doesn't make the reality any easier. It's not the normal order of things for the Mother to out live the child. That's just a fact. As a Mother and a Grandmother I can not begin to imagine the pain and confusion Courtney is now going through. Not knowing what is up or down. Her beautiful family has taught so many so much and I wish all our prayers could take her pain away. Just like Tripp, Courtney will not be forgotten in our home. We will continue to pray daily for her peace and healing. For all of Tripp's family and friends too. We know that God's new Shining Angel who's happily playing his drums also smiles down on his Mommy and wants her to smile back!

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